vi
Pam's father was a retired MarineHe and his wife
had relocated to Palm Desert, California, in the
last year of the twentieth century, settling in
one of those gated communities where there's one
token African-American couple and four token
Jewish couplesChildren and vegetarians are not
allowedResidents must vote Republican and own
small dogs with rhinestone collars, stupid eyes,
and names that end in iTaffi is good, Cassi is
better, and something like Rififi is the total
shitPam's father had been diagnosed with rectal
cancerIt didn't surprise mePut a bunch of
white assholes together and you're going to find
that going aroundI did not say this to my wife, who started off
strong and
gucci hobo then broke down in tears"He's started
the chemo, but Momma says it might already have
metasoh, whatever that fucking word
119
is, I sound like you!" And then, still sniffing
but sounding shocked and humbled: "I'm sorry,
Eddie, that was terrible
"No, it wasn't," I said"It wasn't terrible at
allAnd the word is metastasizedAnyway, they're doing the surgery
to take out the main tumor tonight She was
starting to cry again"I can't believe this is
happening to my Dad
"Take it easy," I said"They do miracles these
days
Either she didn't consider me a miracle or didn't
want to go there"Anyway, Christmas here is off And the truth? I was glad"I'm flying out to Palm tomorrowIlse is coming
Friday, Melinda
louis vuitton jewelry on the twentiethconsidering the fact that you and my father never
really saw eye to eye
Considering the fact that we had once almost come
to blows after my father-in-law had referred to
the Democrats as "the Commiecrats," I thought that
was putting it mildlyI said, "If you're thinking
I don't want to join you and the girls for
120
Christmas in Palm Desert, you're correctYou'll
be helping financially, and I hope your folks will
understand that I had something to do with that-"
"I hardly think this is the time to drag your
goddam checkbook into the discussion!"
And the anger was back, just like thatJack,
almost out of his stinking little boxI wanted to
say Why don't you go fuck yourself,
cartier ronde you loudmouth
bitchAt least partly because it
would have come out loudmouf birch or maybe
broadmouth lurch"Eddie?" She sounded truculent, more than ready to
get into it if I wanted to"I'm not dragging my checkbook into anything," I
said, carefully listening to each wordThey came
out all right"I'm just saying
that my face at your father's bedside would not be
likely to speed his recovery For a moment the
anger - the fury - almost added that I hadn't seen
his face at mine, eitherOnce more I managed to
stop the words, but by then I was sweating"What will
you do for Christmas, Eddie?"
121
Paint the sunset, I thought"I believe that if I'm a good boy, I may be
invited to Christmas dinner with
18k omega watch Jack Cantori and
his family," I said, believing no such thing"Jack's the young fellow who works for meAre you still
forgetting things?"
"I don't know, I can't remember," I said
"Laughter's the best medicineI read it in
Reader's Digest
"What about your arm? Are you still having phantom
sensations?"
"Nope," I lied, "that's pretty well stoppedThen: "Eddie?"
"Still here," I saidAnd with dark red half-moons
in the palms of my hands, from clenching my fistsThere was a long pauseThe phone lines no longer
hiss and crackle as they did when I was a kid, but
I could hear all the miles sighing gently between
usIt sounded like the Gulf when the tide is outThen she said, "I'm sorry things turned out
chanel pearls this